Summary of The Four Stages
- What childhood trauma causes limerence?
- How do you snap out of limerence?
- What is the root cause of limerence?
- What are the first signs of limerence?
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The four stages of limerence describe the progression of intense, obsessive infatuation, typically moving from Attraction (initial fascination) to Obsession/Infatuation (deepening intrusive thoughts, idealization) and Elation/Frustration (extreme highs and lows based on perceived reciprocation). The cycle concludes with Resolution, where feelings either fade into stable love or detach due to unmet needs, often ending in heartbreak or a shift to healthier attachment
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This video provides a brief overview of the four stages of limerence:
00:45
Laurie Berzack
YouTube • Jan 19, 2024
Here’s a breakdown of the stages:
Attraction/Infatuation (Initial Fascination):
You experience intense fascination and a strong physical/emotional pull toward the “Limerent Object” (LO).
Thoughts become focused on the LO, often with fantasy and idealization.
Obsession/Crystallization:
Thoughts become involuntary and intrusive, dominating your day.
You idealize the LO, seeing them as perfect, while overlooking flaws (crystallization).
You seek validation and reciprocation desperately.
Elation/Frustration (The Highs & Lows):
Any sign of reciprocation brings euphoria (elation).
Any perceived rejection or lack of response causes deep despair, anxiety, or frustration.
Resolution/Deterioration:
If reciprocated and a healthy relationship forms, limerence can transition to stable love and attachment.
If unmet or reality sets in, the obsession fades, leading to anger, resentment, or sadness (deterioration).
This video explains the deterioration stage of limerence in more detail:
54s
Following Fenna
YouTube • Dec 18, 2022
The Four Stages : r/limerence – Reddit
Discussion. I ran a group today and we were taking about limerence. I was shocked to hear that not many people know that there are…
Reddit
4 Stages of Limerence: So You’re Infatuated…What Now? – wikiHow
Things You Should Know * The four stages of limerence are attraction, obsession, elation and frustration, and resolution. * These …
wikiHow
Limerence: The Science of Obsessive Attraction
Stages of limerence There are various ways to define the cycle of limerence. Most theories revolve around three main stages: Infat…
Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials
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The Four Stages
I ran a group today and we were taking about limerence. I was shocked to hear that not many people know that there are 4 stages of limerence.
1.) Attraction 2.) Obsession 3.) Elation 4.) Resolution
During these stages, the limerent person will experience initial fascination and infatuation. Which is followed by obsessive thoughts.
Then comes the intense emotional highs and lows depending on reciprocation. Then finally, a period of emotional stability or detachment as the infatuation fades.
What stage do you currently find yourself in? Do you think the stages make sense?
I think that they do but, I also think it’s a lot more nuanced than that.