Summary of When YOUR Parents Don’t Understand You
- What to do when your parents don’t understand you?
- What is the 70/30 rule in parenting?
- What are the 4 types of emotionally immature parents?
- What is the most traumatic age to lose a parent?
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AI Overview
AI Overview
Accepting that your parents may never fully understand you
requires shifting focus from seeking their validation to validating yourself, often by recognizing their limitations in emotional maturity or generational perspective. Cultivate an independent sense of self, set firm boundaries, and accept that “agreeing to disagree” is often the best outcome.
Understand the Root Cause: Often, parents fail to understand due to generational divides, different values, or their own emotional limitations (e.g., emotional immaturity).
Stop Seeking Approval: Do not let your parents’ inability to understand you dictate your self-worth. You can feel confident in your choices even if they do not approve.
Set Boundaries and Communicate: Communicate your viewpoint clearly, but be prepared for them to not get it. Establish boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.
Shift Perspectives: Try to see your parents objectively—not just as parents, but as individuals with their own histories and limitations.
Seek Support Elsewhere: Build a support system outside your family with friends, mentors, or therapists who can provide the understanding you need.
Accepting this reality can lead to emotional freedom and the ability to build a more mature, though perhaps distant, relationship with them.
4 Signs of Emotionally Immature Parents & How to Heal
May 15, 2025 — and I can see the damage that it did but I think as kids. you think that there’s something you can do to change this. and the fact…
YouTube
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Mel Robbins
14m
How to Accept That Your Parents Don’t Understand You – wikiHow
Apr 11, 2025 — You may feel better if you state your point of view to your parents, but know you may often have to agree to disagree. Lastly, do …
wikiHow
How do you deal with accepting that your parents are not there for …
Apr 15, 2024 — You’re not alone and you’re breaking generational curses, so it’s okay that it’s still hard after decades.
Reddit
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How many of these boxes can you check?
Your parents or those who raised you seem to shame your “new” parenting style.
They seem to run over or ridicule the boundaries you attempt to set.
There are parts of you that you can’t share because you’re afraid of being criticized for your new ways of thinking and being.
You fear that if you talk to them about the ways you want to parent or partner differently then they did they’ll feel hurt of shamed.
When you find yourself in those tense family discussions, you feel like a kid again.
Conversations about any of the above lead to awkwardness or arguments.
If these describe you and your parents, you’re not alone!
As adults, navigating changes in the relationship dynamics with our parents can feel like trying to sail rough waters without a compass. As an adult child, you might be experiencing a personal growth transformation as a parent or a person that your parents don’t quite understand.
Maybe you’re setting boundaries to protect yourself from toxic or negative relationships, shifting patterns of behavior that have caused you pain in the past but met the needs of others, or breaking generational cycles that were unhelpful for your growth and development.
While it can be challenging to navigate these changes with your parents, it can ultimately skyrocket your growth and – dare I say – lead to a healthy, updated parent-child relationship with your parents.
This short 4-minute audio will help you:
- Recognize the signs that you are transforming in your life and relationships.
- Reflect on behaviors and beliefs that no longer serve you.
- Learn to compassionately deal with family members that seem to undermine or minimize your personal growth journey.
It’s important to remember that setting boundaries with people, including our parents, is essential for building healthy relationships. When we validate our needs and establish clear lines of communication, we can break free from negative patterns of behavior modeled for us growing up and transform our interactions with others. This can be especially important in our relationship with our parents, who may have a powerful influence on our lives and sense of self.
Interacting with a parent who doesn’t understand the changes you’re making in your life and relationships, may require some uncomfortable conversations and even moments of stable misery. Parts of you may freak out at the thought of creating disappointment in the eyes of your parents. But the rewards of a functional relationship built on mutual respect and understanding are immeasurable.
By transforming our interactions with our parents, we can break free from negative patterns of behavior and establish healthier ways of relating to others. It’s like finding our true north, and using that compass to guide us through the rough waters of life.
But please know that you’re not alone in navigating the rough waters of personal growth and the parent-child relationship. I created this audio post because I was inspired by a T2T member who shared her struggles with this very issue.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by the tension between your personal growth journey and your parents’ expectations, know that you have the power to make positive changes.
I hope the short video helped you feel more empowered, supported, and confident in navigating your family of origin relationships and your personal growth journey.