Summary of A College Professor and I Agree: TikTok’s “3-Month Rule” Has to Go
- What is the 3 month rule in a relationship?
- What to expect after 3 months of dating?
- What is the 3 3 3 rule in relationships?
- What is the 3 6 9 month relationship rule?
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AI Overview
AI Overview
The “three-month rule” in dating is a guideline suggesting that after about 90 days, you’ll know enough about a person’s true habits, communication, and compatibility to decide if the relationship has long-term potential, often involving evaluating red flags or making a decision about exclusivity. While some see it as a trial period to see beyond the initial “honeymoon phase” to gauge real fit, others find it too rigid, preferring natural emotional pacing, but it generally serves as a checkpoint for assessing a partner’s character and alignment with your goals, according to this Calm article and this Nelson Estate Jewelers article.
Key Concepts of the Rule:
Evaluation Period: The first three months are a “trial” to see the real person, not just their best self, say this Medium article and this Medium article.
Revealing Habits: Real-life stress, conflicts, and daily interactions emerge, showing how they handle difficulties and if lifestyles match, note Medium article 1 and Medium article 2.
Decision Point: After this time, you should have clarity on long-term potential and decide on commitment or moving on, say this Nelson Estate Jewelers article and this Medium article.
Variations: Some versions suggest no kissing or exclusivity for three months to avoid rushing, while others focus on evaluating compatibility and spotting red flags, mention this Business Insider article and this Instagram post.
Potential Downsides:
Too Rigid: It can create pressure or feel like a game, rather than letting things flow naturally, according to this Calm article.
Doesn’t Fit All: Some people connect faster or slower, and a fixed timeline might not suit everyone, says this Calm article.
Suppresses Emotion: Holding back genuine feelings to “stick to the plan” can make interactions feel inauthentic, notes this Calm article.
How to Use It (If You Choose):
Observe Real Life: Look at how they handle stress, disagreements, or bad days, suggests this Medium article.
Check Alignment: See if your core values, lifestyles, and future goals align, say {Link:
Related Links
3 month rule explained #fyp #3monthrule #dating – TikTok
Feb 9, 2024 — 85.1KLikes. 806Comments. 4971Shares. rachelvanderbiltphd. Dr Rachel, Relationship Expert. The three month rule is a lon…
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Joey Kidney
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Charles O’Shea had a Hinge resumé that would no doubt end up in Sarah’s slush pile: lacrosse player in high school, ΣX brother in college, Deloitte consultant in a Patagonia vest. But it was Friday night on the Lower East Side, and Sarah was blissfully unaware of his profile. Five minutes and a splash of liquid courage later, Charles ‘clumsily’ knocked her drink out of her hand. “Let me buy you another… and a round for the girls,” he offered. She rolled her eyes, hardly annoyed enough to deny her friends a free espresso martini. To her surprise, the banter felt effortless. Even over the thrum of 2000s throwbacks and guys wearing hats and graphic tees (more her type), Charles held her attention. When she mentioned rewatching The Sopranos, he asked if Tony reminded her more of her dad or her ex. She laughed harder than expected. For once, she could see why consultants made triple her salary—steady eye contact, quick timing and the rare ability to make a bar feel like a two-top dinner.
Five days later came their first official date: candlelight, tiny plates, too much Cabernet. Then the fourth date, and the sixth. Soon, Charles was a fixture in her routine—Saturday sleepovers, Sunday coffee runs, midweek memes and “thinking of you” texts. And to the naked eye, he adored her. He told her she looked radiant on day four of unwashed hair. He called her “the most interesting person he’d ever met” on repeat. So, she slipped into his life with ease: Parachute bedding, biweekly Sweetgreen, effortless invites to group hangs. It was the kind of domestic rhythm she usually resisted—but with him, felt easy.
But then came month three. The doubt wasn’t loud—it was more of a whispering anxiety behind their inside jokes. She’d already accepted that he wasn’t her “type,” but was that at the cost of finding the partner she always envisioned? He didn’t like off-Broadway plays—he hated her taste in music—and he certainly wasn’t booking a last-minute trip to Sri Lanka. Charles’ passions (sports and the stock market) often made her wonder whether they had enough in common to sustain something real. And yet, she couldn’t deny how much she loved being with him. He made her feel prioritized and valued, secure in a way she hadn’t yet experienced. But the gap between their interests and connection led to a question that was keeping her up at night: Shouldn’t I be more sure I want a future with him at this point?
While I love painting a picture of NYC dating scene, this little tale has a purpose. It’s to show exactly why I—and a professor at California State University—think TikTok’s “3-Month Rule” is bullshit.